"...and I want to play the game with you."

Yesterday, I had the privilege (and I mean this in the sincerest way) of attending an entertainment extravaganza: Saki's Uncle's Retirement and Life-Beginning Party (as the rather large banner hung above the stage informed anyone in doubt). On arrival, each guest was handed a beautifully wrapped present (which turned out to be a really nice ceramic cup), a bingo card, a raffle ticket and an 100 yen coin (about 50p). Little did I know what was in store...

We sat down and we met "Maki" our compere (ess) for the duration. Dressed in a rather fetching puff-ball sleeve circa 1982 number, she introduced herself as a colleague of Saki's Uncle, who would be running proceedings (the alarm bells are a-ringing!). She then went on to inform a room full of 80 people that she was single, had two lovely dogs and was looking for a boyfriend (cue nervous laughter). I felt bad because I fear she spoilt her chances with the dog comment.

So without further a do...Saki's Uncle (dressed in full kimono) kicked off the party with a bamboo flute recital accompanied by 4 rather stern looking Japanese harp (koto) players. We were then told we could start eating while Saki's Uncle continued with a solo performance. Next came the most nerve-wracking part of the party...waiting to see if your raffle ticket was selected which meant automatic enrolment in the forthcoming party games. I was one of the lucky ones but others didn't get off so lightly.

There was the balloon popping game which saw one woman of an extremely nervous disposition, nearly have a coronary at the prospect of a balloon popping within a 2 metre radius of her. Next came my personal favourite: "The dart board game" The sole aim of which, seemed to be to humiliate as many people as possible...each person had to throw a dart which landed on one of the following four categories:

1) You get an invite to Saki's Uncle's next BBQ party
2) You must sing karaoke on your own
3) You must kiss a foreigner
4) You get a free onsen (hot spring bath) at the hotel

(I should probably mention that Saki's Uncle- as an amazing English-speaker-worked for the American Marine Base in Iwakuni so there was a mixture of foreigners and Japanese people at this party).

So, inevitably most people scored numero 3 including Saki's dad who was selected to be kissed by the most pissed off looking American girl i've ever seen! She was a bit of a biffer and apparently humourless but Saki's dad didn' t seem too traumatised! Everyone who participated received a prize (which were really nice) so it seemed unfair to get too annoyed about being selected!

Bingo was next and the prizes kept coming- I was very chuffed to win one but as I walked up to accept it (as the previous bingo winners had done before me) I got heckled (in the friendliest way) by Saki's Uncle which was apparently the cue for " Maki" to get me on the mic.." What's your name? Where do you come from? Do you like soccer? Do you like Beckham?" Microphones terrify me so I kept my answers short and went and sat down, content that I'd got my initiation over and done with...if only I'd had known...

There was a girl from Mexico who had said she would sing La Bamba but they didn't have it so she agreed with another guy that they'd sing something else. Saki's Uncle was then dragged along who inevitably caught my eye ...before I knew it, I found myself on stage in front of the whole party with a microphone in my hand...it became apparent that the Mexican was just dancing, Saki's Uncle was clapping and that the other American dude was mute...leaving me to sing...of all the songs in the world..."She Bangs" by the one and only Ricky Martin. So there I was, in my beautiful Noa Noa dress singing "she bangs, she bangs, oh baby, it's the way she moves, she moves, ooooh" in front of Saki, his entire family and a bunch of American Marines. The word "Bingo!" springs to mind. I think Saki's comment summed up the quality of my performance..."Hannahchan, what WAS that song??"

The party came to an end shortly after this and I'd learnt two things; That organised fun is not my bag, baby but that Saki's family are the most lovely, fun and generous of people. They made me feel so welcome, comforted me post-karaoke and did so in the most genuine way.

Between us, Saki and I also came away with the ceramic cup, a bottle of whisky, a pack of beer, a huge bottle of pure honey, a Japanese wooden tray and a picture ...so all in all, it was just how I imagine winning the Generation Game feels, only better!